Me, and my Shadow: A Dozen Benefits of being Single.

What is it that makes so many people uncomfortable with the idea of being alone? The movie, “How to be Single”, and Idalia Candelas’ artwork in the internet world have sparked some interest on this matter in recent times.

If a person has never spent time alone…and wait for the key word: comfortably! Then can they ever really spend their time with somebody else without getting lost in an illusion? For instance, what they lovingly call the “dick sand” in “How to be Single”. It’s all an illusion of falling for someone, and losing yourself in the process. That storm will pick you up, toss you right passed those soft fluffy clouds, and then the hand of reality will beam you right back to earth onto that cold sidewalk of verity. We all cater slightly to get along, or to attract someone who we think is attractive, but that doesn’t mean being a martyr…

Sometimes dating the wrong person will make you sacrifice what is best for you. 

Being a lone wolf isn’t so bad.

There are perks to this whole single and living alone thing.


Nobody is here to tell me what they like or don’t like. I can eat a bag of kale chips, and a drumstick off of a rotisserie chicken if I am so inclined. Shoes…left at the door, or by the bed, or on the shelf in the closet. They are left where I please. Go for a day hike, whenever. Plan a trip with a few friends, or by yourself…that is also whenever you would like as well. Soak in mud baths, and hot springs on a weekday after playing hookie…why not? It’s your free time.

3. Snooze

I never have to share my bed. I can sleep upside down, sideways, really whichever way I would like. The sleep is more restful, with the only other sounds being a dog snoring alongside me.

4. Building thy sanctuary

Want red chairs, a yellow couch, a loft, hardwoods. You do not have to compromise with anybody else. It is all up to you to make your own sanctuary. Burn your sage, or whatever candles you want. Make your home exactly the way you want!

5. Flirting

Flirt with whomever you’d like. It’s not like this means you have to marry them. Plus it’s usually a good time. If you are an adult, then you have likely been around the block a few times to know exactly what you want, and what you don’t. There are people who are good for mind, great for the body, and/or wonderful for the spirit. It all depends on what you want, in whichever part of your life you happen to be in presently.

6. The Book

It’s like picking up a book, and reading the first few pages. You are not required to read the whole book if it doesn’t hold your interest in the very beginning. Take your time…and for heaven’s sake, don’t settle! Remember, there are no hard fast rules to this all.  Whether the start is good or bad, chances are it will make for a good story later.

7. Self reliance

There is nobody else around to open that jar of pickles, unfold your mini-trampoline. May as well pull up your boots and get to work. This happens to build confidence too. Making large purchases, and doing this adulting thing without somebody holding your hand is pretty great.

8. Me, and my shadow

Spending time alone at home, in the woods on a hike, or just a day out to the bookstore, a gallery/museum, or in a new city you’ve never been to. It’s amazing how many epiphanies come to the surface while you are enjoying time doing things alone. In turn you get a better sense of who you are, and can figure out how to achieve some goals.

9. Time is on my side

More importantly, you give yourself the gift of time to release the past which is required to move forward.

10. Unleash flatulent Franny

Sometimes we all want to eat something which will make us feel like a hot air balloon. No problem coming home alone. You may accidentally dutch oven the poor dog, but he/she will likely fart in your face later anyway.

11. Thank you for being a friend

Because it is nice to shop with friends, talk about the latest crush, and have a couple of drinks on the town.

12. No elbow grease needed

No fighting with a significant other, no bickering, no problems, no opinions, no differing ideas, no complaints, no extra work. You may end up with somebody later who will be worth that headache, but right now it is time to just have fun!


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