My mouth gets the best of me at times. Sometimes real talk is too real. I turn red. Sometimes following by bursting into laughter. Honestly you can’t win all the time. At work a spiritual counselor comes to find me at the nurses station to tell me a woman’s mask to assist her breathing was starting to fall off. If only the poor woman didn’t absolutely need it to live. I replied, “God damnit!”. The spiritual counselor just stared at me in silence. I felt judged. I replied, “Oh shit!”…it was like I had Tourette’s syndrome. She continues to look to me in silence. I reply again, “God damnit, shit….no! Sorry about that.”. I am pretty sure I was bright red by now since my face felt hotter than hades. I am not a super religious person, but I do hold respect for others and their belief systems. She said it wasn’t a problem, and asked if I felt like I needed to be forgiven. I laughed telling her I needed to be forgiven for a LOT more than that. We both smiled.
A day late and a few more dollars short after martinis on a Friday night, and laughs with friends. A mantra a day late. This is actually perfect. Because yesterday I met my intentions set early in the morning of doing what makes me happy. Doing exactly what I want to do. Apparently not writing yesterday, and living life was just that.
I was recently reading an article about this woman. It went on about the things she wished she told her daughter earlier in life. Never apologize if someone bumps into you. Don’t be sorry for just existing in that space. Never apologize if you are not sorry. Don’t wear the dress if you won’t want to. If you want pizza, a whole mango, or a pint of ice cream for dinner, then do it. If you hate your job, get a new one. If you hate your life, get a new one! Find things that make you happy.
We get so wrapped up in what we “should do”, that we just do it. Then guess what happens? We end up not being totally happy. Yes I did eat a personal pizza for dinner this week…twice. Now my skirt is a little tight today from overindulging… but god damn it! It was so good. Both times! That is life. Trial and error rarely kills people. Rarely! If it does, I guess it was worth it for the hell of a ride that it could have been? I think/hope you get the picture!
So today’s mantra
Do what you want to do. -K.K. Powell
“Do anything you wanna do.” -Eddie + the Hot Rods
I have started practicing yoga again, which is like turning on the faucet of daily thoughts. This past week I have seen individuals try so hard that they almost kill themselves physically and/or mentally. A friend and I talked about how sometimes you just do your best. I remember trying my best at times where I would make it the easy way out and just shirk it off as, “I did my best.” Then I got older, and realized that wasn’t necessarily the most reliable way of doing things! We all have our good days and our bad days. Some times on a shitty day your best is the easy way out because you just don’t have it in you. BUT, the next day is new, and you can always try to do a little better than you did before. Because a life without challenge is no life at all.
That being said… today’s mantra is-
Always do your best…
but try not to choose the easy way out.
Reminds me of a doctor I used to work with in a teaching hospital. A resident would put their hand on the patients bed. He would snap at the resident to stand back. If he had a ruler he would have likely snapped it upon the residents wrist. Years later I saw this doctor with his wife outside of the hospital at the airport. Naturally I said hello. His wife smiled sweetly. I extended my hand, she accepted. He said smugly, “This is wife.”
Was he rude? Was he on the spectrum of autism? Was he socially awkward? Who knows? I was not fulfilled with this answer. I said, my name is Keri… I’m sorry I didn’t quite get your name? She replied… but now the name is lost in my memory.
This is wife.
Every so often my face gets hot, so hot that I can feel my face turning hyper color into a giant tomato. It’s a dead give away if I am embarrassed, or if I have a crush on anybody. My dad says it’s cute. I think it’s a fucking curse. But sometimes it gets the best of me, and turns out being pretty funny. Now, I talk to a lot of people day in, and day out. I got that from my mom. We literally talk to anybody we think could be remotely interesting. Variety is the spice of life! So I am having a conversation with an 89 year old Japanese woman, and boy did she get the best of me. Yet I am still single while there are homeless people who smell like hot garbage that have girlfriends and boyfriends. Even Charles Manson has women lined up at his cell door. My friend Anna says I am too picky. Okay fine. Anyhow, yet again, I digress. Here the story goes…
89 year old- Are you married?
Me- No ma’am.
89 year old- Ohhhhhhhhhh
Me- (laughing a little at her reaction)
89 year old- But you so pretty. I don’t get it. So sexxxxxy.
Me- You’re killing me! (laughing, I bury my head into my red hair trying to camouflage the red hot face) Thank you for the compliment. Your flattery is too much!
89 year old- (still perplexed) I have a son, but you are too pretty for him. Oh so pretty! So sexy! I don’t get it?
Me- I don’t get it either.
Enters son… the 89 year old Japanese woman stops and changes the subject quickly.
Five year olds are funny in a sense that they just say whatever is on their minds. Aquarians are kind of funny too in the sense that they do the same. Not saying Aquarians are like five year olds…or are they. They typically march to the beat of their own drums… and so do five year olds.
Okay, okay enough. Now for the funny story of the day.
Five year old- Does your dog poop?
Me- Well yea, I mean if you think about it a lot of things poop…right?
Five year old stops for a minute thinking
Five year old- Yeaaaaaaaa
(Pretty sure I just witnessed her mind exploding all the possibilities of all the things in the world that actually poop!)
Me- Have a good one!
Five year old hollering as we walk away- Bye!! Have a nice day!!
It takes a village to raise em right.