On Christmas Eve I treated myself to getting my nails done. I have been working hard lately, and taking on extra shifts. The ER can be stressful, but it’s what I choose to do for work. So until Colorado and Paris, only one day off at a time.
I asked the ladies in the nail shop out of curiosity how much time they get per week. She smiled, and replied with one day off per week. She looked tired, but her reality she seemed to be okay with. She was still smiling, and joking around at times! On Christmas Day, I asked the man from Yemen who owned the corner store (where I was buying wine from) how many days he gets off per week. He replied with none. No days off. One year on, one year off… sometimes. He went on to explain how Yemen is at war now. There are no hospitals, and no schools. This makes it so he cannot go home. It’s too dangerous. So for now, he works everyday.
If you are wondering how my Christmas was I will tell you. I will tell you that I was reminded that most of us in America have things very well. Most of us get two or more days off per week. We have schools. We have hospitals. Yes, our current president is an awful man… but he cannot he in office forever. Working hard to reach your goals pays off. Sometimes it is hard, but just remember that there is always someone who has things worse off than you… and sometimes that person is still smiling.
My mouth gets the best of me at times. Sometimes real talk is too real. I turn red. Sometimes following by bursting into laughter. Honestly you can’t win all the time. At work a spiritual counselor comes to find me at the nurses station to tell me a woman’s mask to assist her breathing was starting to fall off. If only the poor woman didn’t absolutely need it to live. I replied, “God damnit!”. The spiritual counselor just stared at me in silence. I felt judged. I replied, “Oh shit!”…it was like I had Tourette’s syndrome. She continues to look to me in silence. I reply again, “God damnit, shit….no! Sorry about that.”. I am pretty sure I was bright red by now since my face felt hotter than hades. I am not a super religious person, but I do hold respect for others and their belief systems. She said it wasn’t a problem, and asked if I felt like I needed to be forgiven. I laughed telling her I needed to be forgiven for a LOT more than that. We both smiled.
If you happen to live in the northern hemisphere then you are likely starting to notice the seasons. The days are getting shorter, and Samhain has come and gone. It reminds us all of what we have achieved this year, or did not for one reason or another. It reminds us of what we need to shed in order to let new things grow so we can move on. If you just look up you can see it all around you. The leaves change color, and fall to the ground. The weather turns cool, and the hours of light dwindle away.
Sometime it is easy to get down on your self when you need more rest, and you are not as active as you have been. In America we are so used to the idea of “time is money”, and we must be always doing something, or going somewhere. We get so worried about how people see us, and how we must portray ourselves. We push, push, and push until we turn into rattlesnakes striking the minute we are poked.
Now is the time to just be. Get comfortable in silence, and spending time with the self alone. If it is uncomfortable, try it out for small amounts at a time, and slowly increase the time. Bears hibernate for a reason in a certain season! So as the days get shorter, allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself to go within. Take time to figure out new goals now, and let go of the shit you do not need. If you do not take away those old leaves it’s going to be a whole lot harder for those flowers to emerge come Spring. Don’t wait for January 1st. Right now is actually the perfect time.
I woke up this morning to hear that fifty eight people in Las Vegas died at a Jason Aldean show with hundreds injured. I found that people I hold close to my heart were okay. Hours later I would hear that Tom Petty died of a coronary event. Just weeks ago Charles Bradley died of cancer. We have had hurricanes and earth quakes destroying the earth this year as well. We have someone who doesn’t seem to care about people nor our planet sitting in our white house spewing hate and horrible ideas. With so much tragedy it is hard to see the positive in daily life. Negativity is a real bitch, and happens to be very contagious.
There are many things we simply cannot control whether is be a natural or man made force. During this time we can come together to help unfortunate circumstances by donating time/money/clothing/food, etc. We can be good to each other. Take out a do no harm, but take no shit policy. We can also hold gratitude for the time we have shared with others. We can hold gratitude for the way they have inspired us. We can also hold gratitude for what we have, and the fact that we have the opportunity to help others. I encourage everyone to focus of the positive as much as they can today and the weeks to come. I am not saying to not acknowledge sadness and hurt. I am saying to acknowledge it, let it go, and be proactive in healing in a healthy way.
Instead of focusing on the negative, I choose to focus on the positive.
Gratitude is the attitude. -K.K. Powell
A day late and a few more dollars short after martinis on a Friday night, and laughs with friends. A mantra a day late. This is actually perfect. Because yesterday I met my intentions set early in the morning of doing what makes me happy. Doing exactly what I want to do. Apparently not writing yesterday, and living life was just that.
I was recently reading an article about this woman. It went on about the things she wished she told her daughter earlier in life. Never apologize if someone bumps into you. Don’t be sorry for just existing in that space. Never apologize if you are not sorry. Don’t wear the dress if you won’t want to. If you want pizza, a whole mango, or a pint of ice cream for dinner, then do it. If you hate your job, get a new one. If you hate your life, get a new one! Find things that make you happy.
We get so wrapped up in what we “should do”, that we just do it. Then guess what happens? We end up not being totally happy. Yes I did eat a personal pizza for dinner this week…twice. Now my skirt is a little tight today from overindulging… but god damn it! It was so good. Both times! That is life. Trial and error rarely kills people. Rarely! If it does, I guess it was worth it for the hell of a ride that it could have been? I think/hope you get the picture!
So today’s mantra
Do what you want to do. -K.K. Powell
“Do anything you wanna do.” -Eddie + the Hot Rods
I have started practicing yoga again, which is like turning on the faucet of daily thoughts. This past week I have seen individuals try so hard that they almost kill themselves physically and/or mentally. A friend and I talked about how sometimes you just do your best. I remember trying my best at times where I would make it the easy way out and just shirk it off as, “I did my best.” Then I got older, and realized that wasn’t necessarily the most reliable way of doing things! We all have our good days and our bad days. Some times on a shitty day your best is the easy way out because you just don’t have it in you. BUT, the next day is new, and you can always try to do a little better than you did before. Because a life without challenge is no life at all.
That being said… today’s mantra is-
Always do your best…
but try not to choose the easy way out.